February 11, 2024

What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal

Product Information

In the world of dating and romance, navigating the treacherous waters of a relationship can oftentimes seem daunting. “What Makes Love Last?” by John Gottman and Nan Silver offers a beacon of hope for those wading through the uncertainties of their partnerships. Diving deep into the psychology of relationships, this critically acclaimed book provides valuable insights into identifying the signs, attitudes, and behaviors that hint at betrayal, setting it apart as a vital resource for those in the pickup artist community seeking deeper, long-lasting connections.

This profound work explores not just the surface-level tips and tricks often associated with the PUA’s playbook, but the foundational aspects that create and sustain trust within a romantic relationship. Gottman and Silver go beyond conventional dating advice, seeking to help readers understand the intricacies of their own actions and those of their partners. By deconstructing the reasons behind unfaithfulness, “What Makes Love Last?” transcends the typical dating tips paradigm, offering something much more critical: a strategy for repairing what might feel irreparably broken.

.A crucial component of any successful PUA’s journey is an understanding of trust and the role it plays in sustaining meaningful relationships. Gottman and Silver present the “Assessing Your Trust Metric” section, guiding readers to evaluate their own trustworthiness and that of their partners. This metric becomes a touchstone throughout the book, underscoring the importance not just of gaining a partner’s affection but also of nurturing their trust.

For those who may have experienced or dealt with infidelity, “I Didn’t Mean for it to Happen” (Why Cheaters Cheat) dissect the complexities of such situations in the section. Gottman and Silver take a compassionate, non-judgemental approach. The authors don’t just dwell on the problem; they offer hope through strategies for overcoming these hurdles, making it an invaluable source of healing and learning for individuals at any stage of their dating lives.

Addressing sensitive subjects with grace and expertise, the book delves into areas often considered taboo, such as “Men, Porn, and Sex Drives.” This chapter provides a candid examination of how these aspects can impact a relationship, offering readers enlightening perspectives that defy the common dating advice narratives found in the PUA community.

True to the holistic approach of Gottman and Silver, the book explores “The Three Boxes,” a conceptual framework for understanding the stages of a relationship and how trust is built or broken within those stages. Mapping out the journey from harmony to chaos and back, readers are given tools to recognize where they are and how they can move forward.

“Ten Other Ways to Betray a Lover” is not just a list of do-nots but a reflection on the subtle forms of betrayal that can erode a relationship over time. By bringing these behaviors to light, the book assists those invested in deepening their relationships in navigating away from harmful impulses and towards nurturing, supportive habits.

When it comes to the practical application of these insights, “Attunement Made Easy: The Art of Intimate Conversation” and “Turning Toward Each Other” provide actionable advice that stands apart from typical PUA rhetoric. These chapters move beyond surface-level engagements, encouraging readers to foster a type of communication that breeds mutual understanding and respect.

For times when missteps occur, “Working Through Your Messes, Big and Small” acknowledges that perfect relationships don’t exist. Instead of aspiring for perfection, Gottman and Silver equip their readers with the skills to address and move past conflicts, a facet often overlooked in the pursuit of seduction-focused dating advice.

For those questioning the state of their relationship, “How to Know if It’s Time To Go” is a brave and necessary chapter. It helps readers to make one of the most challenging decisions with clarity and confidence. The courage to walk away is sometimes underappreciated in the community focused on attaining and keeping attraction, but it is recognized by Gottman and Silver as an essential component of self-respect and love.

In “Learning to Trust Again: A Life-Saving Skill,” the emphasis is on healing and the capacity to move past betrayal, something that many seeking dating tips may not have considered integral to their growth. This focus on introspection and renewal provides a path towards healthier relationships in the future.

The book concludes with a profound contemplation of “What Is True Love?” challenging the audience to redefine their conceptions and aim for a deeper, more substantial connection with their partners, a sentiment often overshadowed in the dating advice genre.

.What sets “What Makes Love Last?” apart from other books is the appendices that accompany the main text, which provide additional support and exercises for readers to engage with. Appendix 1’s “Extra Help with the Four Skills of Intimate Conversations,” alongside Appendices 2 and 3, offer rigorous tools that go beyond simple dating tips, encouraging personal development and understanding.

For those considering investing in this wealth of knowledge, “What Makes Love Last?” is available in multiple formats. The options are designed to cater to a variety of readers’ preferences, including a Kindle version priced at $13.34, a Hardcover for $13.71, and a Paperback edition at $16.85. The accessibility of the book in different formats ensures that anyone, regardless of their preferred reading method, can benefit from its profound insights.


In the final paragraph, it’s worth noting the metadata relating to this groundbreaking work. Suitable for individuals beginning their journey into understanding relationships, “What Makes Love Last?” emphasizes relationship skills. The book is an excellent resource for beginners looking to gain a foundational understanding of building and maintaining trust in a relationship. It employs a learning format that is accessible and engaging, making it an optimal choice for self-study. Created by the preeminent relationship expert John M. Gottman and writer Nan Silver, this work has been enlightening readers since its release on September 4, 2012. It stands as a significant contribution to anyone’s personal library, whether they’re a PUA, a couple seeking to mend their bond, or an individual looking to understand love’s complexities.


Table Of Contents/ List Of Topics Covered:

– Introduction
– Assessing Your Trust Metric
– The Three Boxes
– “I Didn’t Mean for it to Happen” (Why Cheaters Cheat)
– Men, Porn, and Sex Drives
– Ten Other Ways to Betray a Lover
– Trust and the Roots of Attunement
– Attunement Made Easy: The Art of Intimate Conversation
– Turning Toward Each Other
– Working Through Your Messes, Big and Small
– Recovering from Infidelity
– Connecting Through Intimate Sex
– How to Know if It’s Time To Go
– Learning to Trust Again: A Life-Saving Skill
– What Is True Love?
– Appendix 1: Extra Help with the Four Skill of Intimate Conversations
– Appendix 2: Suggestions for Working Through the Gottman’s
– Aftermath Kit: healing Previous injuries and Hurt Feelings
– Appendix 3: Why Some Couples Stop Having Sex:
– A Game Theory Analysis


What You Get:

Book options include
– Kindle $13.34
– Hardcover $13.71
– Paperback $16.85